To Bare Or Not To Bare

Hi Ladies,

So here is my latest dilemma. I’ve started to notice that my skin hasn’t been looking that great lately. I always try to use the best products out there that will not break the bank and I’ve been pretty happy so far. However, over the past few weeks, I’ve noticed my skin looking a bit dull. It’s not as radiant and glowing as it once was. Now I know a lot has to do with diet and exercise (let’s not get into that) but I am also a big believer in using products that are good for your skin which will enhance its appearance over time. I must admit, when it comes to make-up there is nothing out there for coverage quiet like my beloved MAC. I mean there has never been a day where I wanted to hide a blemish and Studio Fix did not come to my rescue. But unfortunately I just can’t handle its weight for daily use. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t like to look like I’m wearing make-up. To me, nothing is worse that foundation caked onto your cheeks, suffocating your pores.

I also firmly believe that we should start by bettering our skin as oppose to bettering the make-up on it. Thus I have begun my quest, once again, to find the right skin care products that will work for me.

I contemplated for a while whether I should jump on the mineral bandwagon and eventually after half an hour at the cosmetic counter in my favorite department store, I was sold! I started using Clinique’s mineral foundation which I really liked. The best feature of this product was the built in grater thingy which allowed you to grate fresh powder with every use. The clerk described it as “grating fresh parmesan cheese on top of your pasta.” I had to try it, after all parmesan and pasta are two of my favorite Ps.

After a few months, I grew tired of it. I didn’t find that it benefited my skin that much and was once again looking for a change.

My newest obsession is Bare Minerals. I have to say, at first, I did not like the colors they had for my skin tone, and didn’t think it looked that natural on… but after switching to their newest line, I’m absolutely, head over heels IN LOVE! I’ve been using Bare Minerals for about a little over 2 months and I love the way it looks and feels on my skin.

Now I’m on the hunt for a good skin care regime. I see that BM now offers cleansers & scrubs. Has anyone tried this? Do you have any suggestions? What are some products that you use that you love and wouldn’t mind sharing?

BTW- I realize that there are some women out there who would rather get ran over by a car than share their beauty secrets. It’s ok, I understand and can appreciate that so no worries!

The Blog is Back!

It has been months since I sat down and wrote something for my blog which I so feverishly started as an attempt to communicate to the world my opinions on different matters with hopes the world would have communicated back to me. I can't believe it's been 6 months and I have not written a single thing. This was supposed to be my project. The thing I would do to bring different people, especially women, together. I was supposed to be the voice of young moms out there and my blog was supposed to bring light, inspiration, humor and camaraderie into the homes and hearts of so many.... hey it's ok to dream right?

But of course, I’ve done what I have a tendency of doing. I got discouraged. I let the lack of time and busyness (yes that is a word) of life dissuade me from doing something I am so passionate and zealous about. I’ve thought of writing several times, in fact, I have a long list of topics I have collected over the months that I plan on discussing, but for whatever reason, I couldn’t bring myself to sit and write. I wouldn’t say it was a lack of motivation, or a lack of inspiration or even writers block. I’m not even quite sure what it was. What I do know is that If I sit here and try to explain or describe it I will probably end up confusing anyone who may potentially be reading this, since my mind runs 100 MPH and I sometimes can’t even keep track much less my poor readers. So I won’t. I will simply just write. I will start today with this post and continue as I go.

So here I go. I hope you will join me (again)….

Birth Control Disasters

A friend of mine recently had a very scary experience with birth control. She was bleeding for about two months non-stop and was suffering from chronic headaches. One day out of nowhere she blacked out and was rushed to the emergency room. They told her that she had lost a lot of blood and a blood transfusion was needed. After three days in the hospital the doctors finally discharged her and prescribed she take Loestrin 24(a type of birth control pill which is supposed to have a lower dosage of hormones and is advertised to give you shorter, lighter periods) to help regulate her period. A little less than one month later she suffered four seizers in a matter of a few hours. She passed out and still to this day have no recollection of what happened. When she woke up in the hospital bed about two weeks later, she was told she that she was in a coma and was on life support for over a week. There was a blood clot the size of a tennis ball in her brain. The doctors tried to remove it but deemed it to be too risky. She lost her short term memory and was receiving oxygen from a tube inserted to her nose. Apparently, in a very short period of time, the birth control pills that were prescribed to her four weeks earlier caused a series of blood clots leading up to this frightening and life threatening disaster. My friend, a young, energetic and very sweet girl now has to spend a considerable amount of time visiting OBGYNs, Neurologists and a series of other specialists in order for her to regain some sense of normalcy. She also has to take six pills every day to thin her blood and constantly check her blood level to make sure it is neither too think nor too thin.


Birth control pills have always been a pretty scary thought for me. I’ve used the NuvaRing for about six months and although I liked it, I became paranoid after hearing too many stories similar to my friends.’ I got off of it and well what do you know 3 months later I was pregnant! But what’s meant to be will be. After giving birth, my gynie recommended me use the “mini pill” since I was breastfeeding because it supposedly has no estrogen, which is known to slow down and sometimes even stop your milk supply . However, after about 2 weeks on the pill I started noticing a difference in my body which resulted in constant break through bleeding and unbelievable discomfort in my breasts. Without much thought, I stopped taking the pill immediately. Doctors have been recommending birth control to me since I started having my period at nine years old!!! YES I said NINE years old! My cycle was always irregular and my hormones were always imbalanced. I’ve been hearing the pros and cons of BC for about 17 years now and I still am not convinced that it’s a safe form of contraceptive. I know that every woman’s body is different and what works for one may not work for the other. I’ve always been suspicious of altering our natural state of being. Although there are tons of safe medications out there that are intended to help alleviate whatever symptoms and pains we may have, when it comes to birth control I’ve cannot help but be skeptical.

I know this may be a lot to ask, but if any of you have had any good or bad experience with any birth control, would you mind sharing? I would like to bring some sort of awareness to what happened to my friend and what I know has happened to many other women out there. I’m very interested to know what kind of effects these hormone pills have on our female bodies. Thank you in advance if you chose to share your stories.

For more information on Loestrin 24: http://www.loestrin24.com/loestrin/birth-control-faq.jsp

How to help bring your period down?

For all of the women out there with irregular periods (which I'm sure is a decent handful) and those fortunate ones whose bodies operate like clock-work, I'm sure at one point or the other you or someone you know have had this problem. Your period is late! It's nearly 8 days since your monthly visitor was expected but it's not showing up. Sometimes your body shows no signs of it while others you're PMSing full force. You know you're not pregnant and you're for the most part relatively healthy. I don't know about you guys but personally I think it's healthy to have your period and I actually, believe it or not, LIKE getting mine regularly. I think of it as natures' monthly cleanse. So here you are frustrated and confused, waiting, waiting, waiting for it to show up. Wondering to yourself," is there anything I can do to bring it down?" Well that's my question to your guys today. What are some things you can do to help bring your period down? Home remedies, safe over the counter meds, ANYTHING?

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do!!!!

With Valentine's Day just around the corner I'm sure there are people out there who is NOT looking forward to seeing all the happy couples or watching the gushing of your co-worker as she happily accepts flowers and chocolate that was delivered from her sweetheart. Some of us might be on the other end of the happy spectrum. I always hated the proccess of getting over someone but absoultely loved the feeling of liberation once I did. It sometimes takes a little longer than we would hope. So my questio for you all today is how do we get over a case of the ex???

So here’s the scenario: you’ve met this amazing someone, you can’t seem to get your mind off of. Movie dates, late night phone calls till the wee hours of the morning, text messages saying “I’m thinking of you” and all that other cute stuff that makes you gush at the sight of their name on the caller ID, (you know the kind where you run to pick up the phone because you have a special ring tone just for them!!). C’mon you know who you are. We’ve all been there, either the one doing the gushing, or causing the gushing. So things are going good, when all of a sudden everything changes and you hear words similar to “I think we need a break,” “Its just not going to work between us,” “I found someone else,” “maybe we should just be friends”  and my all time personal favorite “I’m just not looking for a relationship right now.” WTF??? What just happened here?? Now you’re stuck with movie stubs, his old t-shirt, saved voicemails from when you first started dating when everything was just peeeeachy, memories, photos, and not to mention BILLS. So now what do you do? The truth is getting over somebody you care about and moving on with your life is one of the hardest things the heart has to face and for lots of people you can expect to stare this love-demon in the face more than once in a lifetime.

Well now its time to MOVE ON! You can’t dwell on the past. What are some things that you can do, to help move on?

Here’s my personal list of some of the things I always advise my friends to do and I have tried practice myself back in my single dating days.

If you have any little tricks, please feel free to share.

1. Accept that it’s over and FORCE yourself to let go. There are better things out there.

2. Avoid talking about them to friends, calling and hanging up or driving by their house/work(you know you’ve done it). As a matter of fact delete their number from your phone and email address from your contacts. That way there is no temptations or cause for excuses. (Let's hope you have not memorized it!)

3. The best way to get over a hot guy/girl, is to meet an ever hotter guy/girl. So don’t lock yourself away, Date, meet new people and DON’T compare them to your ex...but DON'T rush into another relationship. Give yourself time to heal and breathe. Reconnect with YOU

4. Get busy, do stuff, go out, get involved, work out. Keeping busy will help get your mind off that loser, who wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him in the armpit (sorry a little personal venting there..lol )

5. Pray.. its amazing how much it helps and gives you strength.

6. Make the effort to look good everyday. When heads turn, it will give you that spunk again, that reminds you that you still got it going on. We all know when you look good, you feel good!

7. Put away all that little sentimental crap that remind you of them. Give it back, trash it, burn it... I don't care, just get it out of your life.

8. Think positive. How did you learn from this experience? Maybe that person wasn’t for you to begin with. S/He isnt’ the last wo/man out there. The best is yet to come.

9. Smile, laugh, be happy. You’re a great person, and have lots to offer. Even if you have to fake the happiness and smiles at first. Pretty soon you will find yourself naturally happy and enjoying yourself again.

10. And last but certainly not least, unless they did something really terrible to you that you just can't forgive, DON'T HOLD GRUDGES. This person was once a part of your life and hating them,cursing,plotting against them and talking smack is just harboring unhealthy, negative feelings that won’t help the situation. Be mature and realistic. Try thinking in a positive way, you’ll see how much easier it will be. You always want to be the one walking away with your head up and them realizing ah shit.. I lost a good thing. Trust me, when one window closes, ten doors open.

What are some things that you guys do to get over someone? It doesn't only have to apply to love relationships but also friendships gone sour. Let me know.

I can't get my one year old to sleep through the night.

For those of you who know me personally, know that I have an amazing little baby boy who is the light of my life. He is my little buddy and in many ways my bestest friend in the whole wide world. It goes without saying that I love him very very much, however the little punk is seriously robbing me of my sleep. It’s been nearly 20 months (since I was about 5 months pregnant) that I have not had a full night’s rest without interruption. I know this is partially my fault because I was not consistent and dedicated enough when it came to letting him sleep in his crib. Yes he sleeps in our bed! Although it is not an inconvenience when he wakes up, since he just looks for me and goes right back to sleep, it’s the break in MY sleep cycle that takes a toll on me. I suspect that he wakes up because it’s routine now since he’s used being nursed. I have tried putting him in his crib but I guess he is so used to the warmth of our bed that he refuses to sleep in his crib for more than 2-3 hours. I’ve tried leaving him to cry it out as the pediatricians recommended but It is only a matter of time before he starts hacking from all the crying and by that time I’m obviously too heartbroken by his sobbing and dead tired to let him continue so of course he ends up right back in my bed with us. To make a long story short, I am incredibly sleep deprived and I need to figure out a way to get my little man to sleep throughout the night. Does any of you (moms or not) out there have any suggestions?

How important is it to be physically attracted to your partner?

A friend of mine is currently in a situation that I’m sure some of us can relate to and possibly after she reads this post we might be able to shed some light on it for her. She is a strong, independent, beautiful woman who knows what she wants and for the most part refuses to settle, hence the reason she is in this jam. Like all of us out there, she isn’t getting any younger. Settling down with someone she can spend the rest of her life with is up there on her to-do list. After a few years of dating, she has, I would assume figured out what it is she wants in a man. Good character, strong morals, ability to provide for her,someone loving, honest and most importantly someone who will respect her and treat her the way she deserves. Lucky for her, she has found this potential life partner; the only problem is she isn’t physically attracted to him!

Like most of us women out there, she has a mental checklist of the things she is looking for in her potential husband and this guy has met most of those requirements. He passes the test in terms of character and personality but unfortunately the poor guy is failing in the looks department. Now I’ve seen this guy and he is not bad looking at all. Not Matthew Mcconaughey but not Marilyn Manson either! But beauty is in the eye of the beholder and she is the one that has to live with him not me, so my opinion does not count.

So here is her dilemma, she has found a guy who will bring her the moon and the stars on a platinum platter if she asks. Her family loves him and she knows a future with him would be secure. They are compatible in many aspects of life including culture, upbringing and religion and they have great a friendship that has immense possibilities to grow into something deeper. Despite all this, when she looks at him, her heart doesn’t skip a beat, when he holds her hand, she doesn’t feel the tingles and when he smiles at her she doesn’t melt. What does she do in this situation? Will the attraction grow in time as long as there is chemistry? Or do you have to have attraction first in order for there to be chemistry? Does she take the risk and hope that he will grow on her or is being attracted to a person something that you just can’t fake? It’s either there or it isn’t!

What do you think? Is physical attraction that important in selecting a partner? What do you do when you have found an amazing person that will do anything to make you happy, but you’re just not attracted to him?

What does it mean to be a good wife or girlfriend today?

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Okay okay, I know most of you are probably nodding your head in complete amusement and disapproval of this article. I mean seriously what woman would willingly comply with such subservience in this day and age? A lot has changed over the past 55 years, especially the role of women in society. However, although I find these guidelines to be a little farfetched, I must admit I don't entirely disagree with some of its points.

Being humble and, well I know it may sound bit old fashioned, obedient to your husband is an idea that many women nowadays toss out as anti feminist and archaic. But if we examine the core teachings of this article it may actually make some sense. According to the National Bureau of Economic Research, in 1955 the divorce rate was approximately 20% as opposed to today's nearly 50%. Could this mean that the modernization of women contributed to the jump in numbers? Of course, I am not saying that women’s lack of subordination to their man is the cause of all divorces and that men are free of their responsibilities. Undoubtedly this is not the case. We all know that sometimes a woman may give everything to her man: time, money, body, energy, life, kids and the bastard will still go out and cheat on her or find some reason to criticize everything that she does, but we’ll save the topic of pricks like that for another post =)

The thing is most women today are driven by careers, independence and success. The value of family, homemaking and caretaking has been deemphasized by the glory of self sufficiency. The problem is though, we as women, as modernized as we are becoming daily, tend to forget that a man is a man and that my friend will never change. Sure many men in the western world do not have the same level of expectations of their women as in the 50s’ but deep down inside you know they would like a nice warm home cooked meal when they get home and would like to know that their opinions matter and that you need them. It makes them feel like a “man”. In my opinion men know that women are the stronger breed and this why they need us to make them feel in control and as though they have a purpose. But back to my point, In the 50’s according to the Good Housekeeping article, if you follow these guidelines you were considered a trophy wife. Again, I do think some of it is a bit unreasonable and definitely inapplicable to today’s standards, but what I extracted from this article was a few key points that I think is missing in the modern woman. While we are certainly not expected to “arrange his pillow or offer to take off his shoes,” we should still be considerate and respectful of his needs. Being a little domesticated by preparing a nice meal in time for when he gets home from work or making ourselves pretty for him and sincerely listening to him as opposed to blabbing on and on about your little drama about some bitch who cut you off on the highway, does go a long way. Granted I’ve only been married for three years now, but I’ve seen the difference it makes when I do put a little emphasis on these things.

My question to you all though is, what does it mean to be a good wife, girlfriend or partner today? In the 50’s things were different but today, with the need for dual incomes, many women are out making just as much if not more money than their better halves and the “wifely” responsibilities are placed on the back burner. I know when I was working I would barely get home in time to start cooking dinner yet alone cleaning up the house or making myself pretty for my hubs and the last thing I felt like doing sometimes was well you know what (I don’t think any working woman can deny feeling that way) With our job description going beyond wife and mother and our responsibilities increasing how do we balance it all? Could it be because we can’t balance it all that so many marriages lead to divorce? I know that it takes two to both make and break a marriage or relationship, but when a woman is still expected to perform certain duties because it is the role society has labeled us with and she fails at that does that mean she is any less of a wife?

What do you guys think? Do you agree or disagree with the article? What are your thoughts?

Staying Motivated in 2010

Every new years day millions of people around the world resolve to lose weight, be more fiscally responsible, learn a new trait, travel, or something or the other that will change their lives for the better. Regardless of what our resolutions are, more than likely by Valentine's day, if not before, half of us fall short of our promises to ourselves and our resolutions become nonexistent. Of course there are those dedicated individuals who stick to their goals and reap the rewards by relishing in their results throughout the year. But for the rest of us, including myself, we end up quitting up before we start. What I want to know is how do we avoid getting sidetracked? How do we stick to our guns? How do we stay motivated?

It is said that in order to make something a habit, you have to do the same thing every day for two weeks consistently. So if for instance, if you want to lose weight, you have to diet and exercise for two weeks straight in order for your mind and body to transform the action into a habit. This is of course easier said than done. Our families, jobs, responsibilities, unexpected events and LIFE in general get in the way. We all know that once you fall off the wagon it is always difficult to get back on and we make excuses disguised as “legitimate” roadblocks that prevent us from getting back on. But how do we stay on the wagon to begin with despite our setbacks in life?